Taking Charge and Believing in Myself.
I'm trying to start a thing. A new venture. A new community. I expect bumps in the road, but I always like to think that my good intentions read as good intentions and not as a way to manipulate situations to my advantage.
Granted there has to be an element of getting something out of it, but I think people find it hard to believe I might genuinely be doing something that minimally, if at all, benefits me in any other way than a sense of satisfaction.
I work under the premise that if I give out to the universe, the universe will inevitably give back. I don't count on the idea that I should rely on others to make me feel better about myself. I spent a long time doing this and it inevitably broke my heart.
If I had the world in the palm of my hand, I want to think I'd be the kind of person who would share it out to everyone. Not equally, don't be naive, but efficiently offering the opportunity for people to give their piece the best chance.
Opportunities don't always equal success, but I worked out that any failed attempts are there to help me to learn. The premise that I shouldn't try because the ossibility I might fail isn't even a factor to me anymore. I will make things happen, because I can, because I'm capable and because I believe there is no-one else in the world like me who can do the things I can do.
I'm probably wrong. There's probably another Ollie Horsfall in the world, writing blog posts with an element of 'delusion of grandeur', but if he does exist, good for him, may his eternal dilema simply be his inability to see the limits of his capabilities. What a blessing.
I can't do everything on my own, I have friends and collegues, talented and brilliant people - all. I have support, but most importantly I am unabashedly believing in myself for the first time in my life. It feels amazing and, if I can't believe in myself, why would anyone else?