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  • Ollie Horsfall

A Question of Distance.


Lausanne by Petar Mrdjen

There's a very distant part of myself

that is looking at me

He's a distorted caricature of who I was

He doesn't make the smart choice

But he is lead by the heart.


I don't miss him.


When I see him from where I am now

I think about his naivety

His unwillingness to compromise

His inability to stay quiet

and I think

"What exactly did you deserve?"


The truth is he doesn't know much.

Respect is earned

but he's far too lazy to earn it

Love is procured slowly

but he's far to impatient to deserve it

Anger is a path best softly tread

but he's too eager to avoid it


And then I think how I must look to him?


Am I that man who I wanted to be?

Do I still let my heart run away with me?

Do I merely pretend to be someone I'm not

Or have I become what I've had to become?


Did the distant past effect me so much that

I am now just a speck on the horizon?

Unrecognisable?

Or did I find my way, properly

to the end game,

The peak,

The place where what I am

and who I am

and why I am

have interwoven into

where I am now?


There are no answers

I'm too far away to answer to myself,

But to those around me

Do I appear wise

For simply understanding that

the steps I took to get as far away

from who I was

to who I am

Were cleverly placed

Without me even noticing?


No answers. But a connection

Past to Present.

And when I look back upon myself

In the years to come,

Will I feel the same again

Looking back at who I am now?

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